Birthday Blog Dump!!!

Hey Y’all!!  What’s up my B!tches???  Hey it’s my birthday, it’s my birthday, gonna party like it’s my birthday!  Drink Bacardi like it’s my birthday!  Yeah, about that, I’m not gonna party but I am not working today and will be eating steak tartar and drinking X.O. beer (cognac infused!!!) at Le Select today instead of not telling anyone one that I work with that it’s my birthday and choking back crybaby tears at my desk all day!  That’s just how I roll!!!

So me and my twin sis will be turning 45 years old today and even though I can pretty much say that my life completely blows, I can at least say “At least I look good for 45!”

Really, Really Good!

So today, I’m just going to bleat about nail polish and nonsense because what is life about if not nail polish and nonsense, which is totally going to be my new band’s name... 

Gareth Pugh for Mac

I know, I know.  This post is long overdue to the point that it’s not even worth mentioning now but I’m going to anyways.  I like this guy’s work because the stuff he makes and what he wears is almost exactly like what me and my friends wore back in high school. I dig the the goth/expressionist/Klaus Nomi vibe he has going on.  I picked up Hyper, a really nice dark blue shimmer which I liked a lot...

But not as much as I liked Ascension because it looked almost completely different every time you looked at in a different light.  For example, when using a flash, it looked like a light purple shimmer.

Photographed in the shade, you can see it’s a light purple, green gold duo chrome...

But in direct sunlight, it looks like a mid-toned silver shimmer.   

They should have named it Enigma as far as I’m concerned.  It may not be the flashiest of polishes but I don’t have another quite like it.

Hidden Treasure 2 from Sally Hansen

I bought this polish strictly to compare it with the first Sally Hanson Complete Salon Manicure named Hidden Treasure.  HD1 certainly lived up to its name by being a great flaky polish with a strong orange and green reflective tone.  HD2 could stay buried.  It’s not a bad polish.  Its blue based pearl finish is nice enough and I had no problems with the formula.  It just doesn’t look super special.

Petra Haden Goes to the Movies

I’m a huge fan of Petra Haden’s unique covers using overdubs of her own voice to take the place of musical instruments.  I loved the sh!t out of Petra Haden Sings: The Who Sell Out and I’m just as excited with her latest release Petra Haden Goes to the Movies.  Her version of the main theme from Psycho is awesome.  Seriously, listen...

Also great on this album is her version of It Might Be You from the film Tootsie.  I had never liked this song until now.  When she sings it, I cry every time.  When I hear the original by Stephen Bishop, I feel nothing!

Essie’s All Tied Up

It’s been so long since I bought this polish that I can’t even remember which collection this polish came from but I can tell you that it is a nice and dependable, mid-toned pink with a subtle gold shimmer in it.  My favourite kind of pink!

 

Hey Look!  Some Nail Art!

I would try nail art more often if I had the time to wait for all the different layers to dry.  I was trying to get the feel of a match burning in the dark...

I used Maybelline’s Black Onyx as the base, and then dotted China Glaze’s Cruisin’ at the end of my nail and multiple coats of Essie’s As Gold as it Gets for some sparkle.  I know I’m no Leonardo of nail art but I like it.

Ski Day

I went on my employers’ annual ski day trip this February and bizarrely, I had a lousy time!  Nobody would talk to me at the house party the night before so I bailed and went back to my hotel room and drew for the rest of the night.  This was the result:

The Bride of Frankenstein

 At least I didn’t waste my time completely!

OPI’s SkyFall

This is just my opinion but Skyfall is the best Bond movie with the second worst theme song ever!  Yes, I said it!  I hate Adele’s Skyfall theme. It’s just so boring. I don’t care it won an Oscar, so did Crash.  If you’re wondering which Bond theme is the worst, the dishonor goes to Jack White & Alicia Keyes’s Another Way to Die from Quantum of Solace.  I imagine that the sound they make is identical to the sound of a bag of cats being tossed into a river and is the only time peanut butter and chocolate did not taste good together.

OPI’s Skyfall polish just might be one of my favorite polishes ever.   

Yes, yes it is a burgundy crème polish that leans towards a brownish tone but I just love it as much as the film’s highrise punch up and that scene is so amazing, it makes me cry too!

The Tears Are Coming!!!

Tom Hiddleston All the Goddamn Time

Yes I’m still bonkers over Captain Jazz Hands.

And last but not least, Thanks to my latest follower Lizelle for giving me a chance!

Scarab by Illamasqua

I was excited a few weeks back when I found that Sephora was now carrying Illamasqua nail polish in Canada.  I couldn't wait to try out this imported brand that so many bloggers were raving about.  Scarab was one of the colours I picked up because I can't resist any makeup that's bug related.  Well, my excitement turned to excrement soon enough as this was the single most horrible experience I have ever had with a nail polish!  It was so awful, I hardly know where to start...No, wait!!! I know!  How about I start with the GIANT HUMAN HAIR THAT WAS IN THE BOTTLE!

You'll Shoot Your Eye Out!!!

At first I thought that it was just a defective brush but as I pulled it across my nail it just got longer and longer and worse and worse.  This is how long the hair ended up being...

WTF!!!!

That in itself is bad enough but then something happened that has never happened to me before even after 30 years of polishing my nails:

MOTHERF@$(&#%!!!

It dripped! The polish dripped all over my nightstand and ruined my spiffy little place mat/decor.  I tried to rub it out but now it just looks like dried blood.  And on top of that, the bottle cap was excruciatingly difficult to hold. I nearly dropped it several times, so it's a miracle that my application turned out neat and even but after that massive hair in the bottle, I'm not even sure why I continued to use this accursed cosmetic.  Sure, it's a nice colour and it had good wear but after all this crap, so what!  I have another colour from this line that I haven't used yet but at this rate, I don't think I want to anymore.

Jewel of a Girl by Color Club

At least I think this is what this colour is called.  I found Jewel of a Girl by Colour Club in a boxed set that of the Untamed Luxury collection from a few years back at Winners.  Shopping at Winners can be tricky at times, especially when you’re buying makeup.  Most customers don’t think anything of opening almost every single package on the shelf, sticking their filthy fingers into every item, ruining any sterility it might have had and rendering it unsellable.  When you actually find something that has been untouched, you feel like you have to buy it because you were lucky to enough to find it unsoiled.

But the other catch to buying at a place like Winners is that what you get could be factory seconds.  When I looked up the Untamed Luxury collection online, some of the polish names didn’t seem to match up with what was in the box and none of the polishes were labelled either.  That in itself was a bit of a disappointment but there’s an upside:  This is a decent quality polish.  Granted, the brush is terrible.  It’s so thin, you’d think you opened a bottle of Revlon, so that’s a hassle as far as application goes and there was nothing too special about the longevity either.  However, the formula is quite good.  Just look at the deep burgundy opacity that was achieved with just two coats.  Now that’s what I call pigmentation!  Sort of makes you want to crack open a nice Merlot and just kick back for the evening.

Tease - y Does It by OPI & Versace V2030 - W

More holiday polish! I picked up OPI's Tease - y Does It from the Burlesque/Holiday Collection for 2010 as I need to limit myself but also because clunky glitter polish isn't really my favourite kind of polish.  Once in a while I see one I really like, but most of the time, I give them a pass because I hate removing it.  But look how nice this is!  It`s a dark purple with red micro glitter that looks very dressy to me and I like it a lot.

Honestly, when I first heard about the upcoming film, Burlesque, I couldn't help but make the obvious comparison between it and Paul Verhoeven`s 1995 so bad it`s awesome film Showgirls!

It`s a Ver-sayce!

Showgirls 2.0

Frankly, I wish that OPI was doing product tie-ins back in 1995 because Nomi Malone in showgirls is all about her nails:

Maybe You Could Do My Nails...

Hi Nomi, I Love Your Nails

Nomi even does her nails right before she goes out to beat up and cut the man who raped her best friend:

It`s From the Hell Hath No Fury Collection!

One of my favourite lines from the movie comes when Nomi shows up at the casino offices in the new dress she bought:

Zack Carey: Nice dress.

Nomi Malone: Thanks. It's a Ver-sayce
Zack Carey: It's "Versace".
Nomi Malone: What?
Zack Carey: It's Versace. It's pronounced "Versace".
Nomi Malone: Oh.

And that brings me to one of the two items that I own that are Versace:  A leather glasses case and a bottle of nail polish that is at least 15 years old.

Bottle Top with Versace`s Medusa Head Logo

The polish doesn`t have a name, just a number and it`s a kind of warm caramel/warm brown with a hint of shimmer to it.  It took hours to dry even with a quick dry top coat!  I did my nails in the afternoon but woke up to a PJ imprint the next morning on my pinkie.

Even though I had application problems, I wouldn`t trash this polish.  I like the colour and I have no idea where I would find another bottle.

I don`t know if I`ll be going to see Burlesque in theaters.  I don`t care for Xtina and I`m just bored with the Antins perspective on what`s entertaining but it has Cher and she is hard for me to resist!

Showgirls + Burlesque = Cher